Self-Appointed
Everyone deserves someone
Who cares about them
And I’ve appointed myself
To this position
Almost regrettably
Tell me what you need
And you shall receive
This stance isn’t political
It is of a higher importance
Than my own mind and body
It is probably unhealthy
I know it is
I love you
As I love most others
I must restrain myself from loving
The vile sinners
Because I only have so much to give
And this act is starting to wear me thin
I pray that I can redeem myself
Even when I cannot help myself
I do my best to help everyone
But usually fall short
And start to doubt whether I’m too human
Too vulnerable
For this self-appointed position
Collage by author.
Comments
mai thi
September 7, 2021The poem conveys the pain of taking care of others even at the expense of oneself. The first four lines stand in almost a contradiction with what follows. “Everyone deserves someone who cares about them and I’ve appointed myself to this position” had me hinted at a poem about self love and taking care of yourself. The last line however, “Almost regrettably”, hits differently. When your well-being concerns no one else but you, it hurts. Perhaps being the one who cares about oneself is taken as loneliness: that in the vast seven-billion sea of people, there’s not a soul to count on; that in a tsunami of hardship, you yourself are all that come to help…
But despite all this, stay strong! I believe love will come to you.
Pera
September 8, 2021This makes me think of the view of selflessness as a virtue in our society when it can be a very unhealthy trait. I think we are entering an age where we see that you should put yourself first, because it can be very self-destructive to care for others at your own expense.
Many lines in this poem make me think it is alluding to an imbalance in a relationship, where one person is taking advantage of the other’s kindness and vulnerability, or otherwise not giving as much as they take.
However, it also refers to an “act” wherein the speaker is trying to extend their love to many people:
“I love you/As I love most others/I must restrain myself from loving/The vile sinners/Because I only have so much to give/And this act is starting to wear me thin”
To me, this means it is not real love, as evidenced by it being referred to as an act, and the fact there is no reciprocation. It is also impersonal, since it’s how they “love most others”. “The vile sinners” could be people that treat the speaker badly in the ways mentioned above, by taking advantage of them.
cj.shep
September 8, 2021Just looking at the cover image, I knew this piece would be relatable. And it was. Wanting to help others without burning yourself out is a profoundly intricate dance. Your limit as to how much you can give varies, depending on the day, your mood or even the weather. As a people pleaser myself, I know the feeling. Without doing the work of setting boundaries with friends and family members, it becomes a never-ending cycle of mixed feelings. Though it’s rarely the desired outcome, resentment, and bitterness towards these people you love is far too common. “I do my best to help everyone/But usually fall short/And start to doubt whether I’m too human.” These lines were gut wrenching. Personally, the need to always go out of my way for others also affects my mental health and self-esteem. Because who am I to say no to loved ones? The way you captured this feeling of helplessness, frustration, and need for approval is magnificent.
cless
September 8, 2021The poem Self-appointed by Aspen was surprisingly relatable. While reading it, over and over I could see myself in the words. I think to me, the first stanza was so perfectly said and perfectly explains the dilemma that goes with it. This idea of being able to rely on others when you need to is strongly represented in media. Often you’ll see the main character in some type of mess and everyone around them will rush to the rescue, but I see this poem from the point-of-view of the secondary characters that are always there when needed. When it says; “And I’ve appointed myself, To this position”, it makes me wonder how do you go from being the most important person in your own life to being everyone’s second.
This poem really does a good job of describing what goes on when someone gets to the limit of how much they can give of themselves. I could really visualize the mental weight and struggle you go through when you carry everyone’s problems with you. I could also see that the author was getting to her limit and just needs the courage to start putting personal needs first.
Angelina
October 20, 2021I read this poem a couple of times and each time I understood a sentence more than the other time. This poem is really eye-opening. It shows how much loving someone can destroy you, make you exhausted and vulnerable. The poem is well written and really conveys the whole I give to others before giving to myself. I will put others before myself. I love that you can understand the emotions written. Like written, you deserve someone. Everyone deserves to be loved. Everyone deserves to feel happy and feel like they matter. This poem shows that no matter how much you give to someone if you give to the wrong person it’ll only drain you.
Ammar777
January 21, 2022This poem had to be read multiple times by me in order to fully comprehend its meaning and what the author is trying to communicate to us. The part of the poem “I must restrain myself from loving The vile sinners Because I only have so much to give And this act is starting to wear me thin I pray that I can redeem myself” This small section of the poem indicates that this person is trying to search someone more positive, someone who can return the favor to her but she fall short because she seems to only love vile sinners that hurt her feelings. This part also affects me , as I tend to like more negative people which is why this section of the poem specifically got my attention to it. Hence, this shows that we need to learn to find people that we can appreciate, and the in reverse can do the same us.
joya zenga
January 23, 2022Reading this poem I immediately interpreted how we must love ourselves before we can love others. Putting others before yourself can be dangerous and tiring, you can spend your life letting people step on you to protect others but then later on realize no one is doing the same for you. You can never trust others with something so sacred as your own life therefore, you must appoint yourself. “Everyone deserves someone who cares about them” I personally believe that self love is as important as loving others. I believe this writer is trying to get the message across that you can never disappoint yourself, you never need to count on others to keep you standing if your biggest supporter is yourself. No matter how many people are standing with you, no matter how many “friends” you have, you can never reach your full potential if you cant cheer yourself on, you cannot depend on others.
Mélodie Martin
January 23, 2022This poem made me reflect back on my own habits in relationships around me. Giving your all to people can be a dangerous habit many people tend to have including myself. Others may say it is a gift to be such a caring person. Although what about our self love? Do we even love ourselves enough too love others? These are questions that are very important to ask ourselves and forget to ask ourselves before giving to others. The painful realization of giving is not receiving. By “receiving” it does not mean giving the same gifts, merchandise..ect.. It is to receive recognition, appreciation from them. This does not happen a lot but until we learn to love ourselves before loving others, this will not matter. It is to also Earn our self respect to stop giving and caring to others who don’t acknowledge this back to you. A lovely short poem with yet such a great meaning, a meaning everyone should understand and think about often.
Mélodie Martin
January 23, 2022This poem made me reflect back on my own habits in relationships around me. Giving your all to people can be a dangerous habit many people tend to have including myself. Others may say it is a gift to be such a caring person. Although what about our self-love? Do we even love ourselves enough to love others? These are questions that are very important to ask ourselves and forget to ask ourselves before giving to others. The painful realization of giving is not receiving. By “receiving” it does not mean giving the same gifts, merchandise, etc… It is to receive recognition, appreciation from them. This does not happen a lot but until we learn to love ourselves before loving others, this will not matter. It is to also Earn our self-respect to stop giving and caring to others who don’t acknowledge this back to you. A lovely short poem with yet such a great meaning, a meaning everyone should understand and think about often.
Mélodie Martin
January 23, 2022This poem made me reflect back on my own habits in relationships around me. It can be a dangerous habit to give so much. Others may say it is a gift to be such a caring person. Although what about our self-love? Do we even love ourselves enough to love others? These are questions that are very important to ask ourselves and forget to ask ourselves before giving to others. The painful realization of giving is not receiving back. By “receiving” it does not mean giving the same gifts, merchandise, etc… It is to receive recognition, appreciation from them. It is to also Earn our self-respect to stop giving and caring to others who don’t acknowledge this back to you. A lovely short poem with yet such a great meaning, a meaning everyone should understand and think about often. I love that the poem says, “even when I cannot help myself, I do my best to help everyone.”. Acknowledging it is not easy to stop giving so much with or without knowing the consequences.
Mahdi Rahman
January 23, 2022The author writes this from the perspective of someone who loves others at the expense of their own health. The person whose point of view we have loves herself. She cares for other people but it does not seem like they care about her the same way she does. That is why what she is doing is unhealthy, she can only give so much without getting any back. The final stanza solidifies the message being passed. Even when she is feeling bad, she is still trying to help others because she thinks she must. In consequence, she feels vulnerable and she is not able to love herself because she is so burnt out from putting others before herself. I find the final stanza interesting because she clearly knows that she has a problem and what is causing it, and yet she cannot stop. The way the brain works is weird.
Georgios Kalantzis
January 23, 2022This poem shows a selfless person who is willing to give someone anything they would like for the price of themselves. The narrator is willing to sell their own body for what their love wants. No matter how many times they may end up hurt, this person is still willing to help others. In this poem we see that the narrator has been hurt before and no matter how bad it was they still seem to have love for them. They seem to put their loved ones over themselves. Personally I was very engaged in the poem because of a previous relationship and how selflessness was a reoccurring theme in the relationship and was always willing to put ourselves over the partner.
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