Sciences Participating with Arts & Culture in Education

How to be a Successful Hipster

The hipster is difficult to define, but readily identified. This special type of breed lives among us on a day-to-day basis,  drinking coffee at the very Starbucks you frequent. They procreate more hipsters living in a little one and a half apartment in an up-and-coming neighborhood. Analysts have studied their habits, researched their methods, and categorized their patterns into lucid algorithms. All for the benefit of better understanding what it is and what it takes, in the simplest form, to successfully become a hipster.

Step one: Pack up your things and go. To be a verified hipster, you must be wearing only the most vintage of fashions and living in the most remote of locations. A change of clothing is but the initiation of becoming a hipster. Only tones of burgundy, mustard, beige, forest green, white and gray will be tolerated as an appropriate color palette for your new wardrobe. The exclusivity of your clothing due to its uncommon brand and costliness will further enhance the general public’s perception of how accomplished and polished you are. An optional condition is to procure a pair of ‘Ben Folds’ glasses. These are an alternative accessory for the urban hipster, which would provide absolutely no optical benefits but rather, act as an accent-piece to guarantee that you are perceived as nothing less than intelligent and tasteful by surrounding bystanders.

Step two: Acquire new tastes and pursuits for anything non-mainstream. Non-conformism and independence from the general society’s stream of thought is a crucial concept. This underlying theme surrounding hipsters encompasses the very definition of what they are. As such, it will be your primary duty to seek all and any indie music, art forms and pieces of literature. The most viable option at your disposal to complete this task with minimal effort is to pick up a copy of Tolstoy’s War and Peace. There is no requirement to actually read it, nor understand a single word. However, just having it on your person will solidify the illusion of your intellectual superiority. Doing this will only enforce your status in their very selective community and prove to others that you are a more cultured person than they. To continue as a hipster, you must make it your mandate to reject any forms of consumerism and capitalist conventions, except however, any American Apparel stores, Starbucks coffee chains, iPhones and other Apple products.

Step three: Relocate. As a hipster, living at home is no longer acceptable. It is important to move to a small apartment shared by others of your kind. Much like wolves, the hipster roams in packs. The location of said apartment is pivotal: within close proximity of the local underground club, while remembering to adhere to your non-mainstream conventions. It should be something within walking distance of Blizzarts, yet residential enough to include all that newly purchased restored furniture from the Meatpacking District. Therefore, moving to a gentrified neighborhood is recommended.

Step four: Trade your car for a fixed-gear bicycle. As a hipster, you’re main concern, other than for yourself and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, is for the environment. As a result, a bicycle is crucial to your daily commute around the city at large. The public transport system would prove to be too mainstream, therefore other than walking, you’re only other option available would be that of a bicycle. The fixed-gear bicycle is the preferred choice as its purpose would be two-fold. It would exhibit a general impracticality on rough terrain or up a hill -only enforcing the notion of non-conformism- while perfectly demonstrating to surrounding pedestrians that you are not a cyclist conforming to society’s rules, but rather a free-spirit roaming the city in which you live.

Step five: A change in diet is required. To be included in the very selective group of people known as hipsters, you must sacrifice your eating habits for a more refined and civilized dietary regime. In short, you must become a vegan. As a vegan, you are genuinely concerned for every living creatures’ existence. Therefore, you mindlessly sign Peta petitions advocating the freedom of domesticated pets into the concrete jungle -all the while your cat is comfortably awaiting your return in the little hoodie you bought him from American Apparel last year. However, in case you were worried, the leather boots you purchased last week are equally acceptable because you bought them second-hand from a thrift shop. Adopting a purely organic lifestyle, where you have your local farmer on speed-dial is an excellent way to diminish your own self-absorption. Word of caution: all of this advice will be rather useless, unless you preach them to anyone within a five-meter radius.

The urban hipster is constantly misinterpreted and should be better exposed to the community at large. From their chai tea latté -hold the foam- to their collective and innate nature to play synth, the qualities of a hipster are like an untamed wildebeest luring in all of us, just waiting for the moment to strike and be unleashed. So, do not let society’s mainstream conception of idealism impede you from spreading your wings and start pedaling to your life anew.