Installed Confusion, Repeated Illusion
Illustrated by Amira Prescesky
Dirty clothes and popping caps,
Anxiety running down
His one turbulent mind,
Hearing sarcastic hand claps.
Overwhelming darkness,
Lotion and mommy’s voice,
Around him, silent noise,
His welcoming weirdness.
He can see the young boy,
Running through the garden,
Stern gaze behind the curtain,
Ready to destroy.
Sudden loud ringing,
Memories hiding.
Installed confusion,
Repeated illusion.
Comments
Raf
September 1, 2020I really appreciate that you’re talking about trauma because even thought i see it everyday i don’t have the impression that everyone is aware of it.
First off, if this is your experience, I’m deeply sorry for what happened and you don’t deserve it.
And now for my appreciation:
This seems to me like a very creative kid and because of their parent’s influence, they slowly started losing touch with themselves. This kid didn’t get the approval that they were looking for and that they were supposed to find in their/the parent(s). Because of that, a part of them felt empty and that made them envious of others, what others had that they didn’t. Some people later feel uncomfortable around children because of that.
A part that i found really interesting and not spoken about a lot is this:
Sudden loud ringing,
Memories hiding.
Installed confusion,
Repeated illusion.
Memory loss is a very common thing in trauma, a way to protect oneself, as the loss of most feelings can be an escape for others.
I really hope that that kid found replacements for their parents with friends or older people. It’s really hard to trust again when something like that happens, especially when you have to be vulnerable and that word makes you barf.
All the best
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